Population studies reveal that the average male population’s greatest fear is (what do you know) interacting with the opposite sex. Should this really be of a surprise?
If you had to choose, would you rather open up to a gorgeous woman in a high-end nightclub or prefer to laze around the pub with your male buddies on the weekend?
I think it’s safe to say the latter.
If you do happen to feel awkward at public events, struggle to accommodate yourself in social settings or have trouble meeting women, it’s completely normal. With adequate social skills training, you can easily overcome your greatest fears in a jiffy.
Now if you haven’t read “Social Skills Training Part 1,” you can find it here.
Important 4 Pillars Of Social Skills Training
1.) Analysis
Make initial preparations. Identify things that make you uncomfortable in the different social settings and situation. Is it rejection or public fear? Secondly, determine the underlying psychology to fix this problem. Most of it can be fixed by working on your self-esteem and being relaxed.
Self-Esteem – People with poor social skills tend to have low self-esteem. Because of this, they are their own worst enemy with the irrational negative emotions of even being social in the first place for being rejected or judged.
Relaxation – Always be relaxed whenever you are around people. No one can be comfortable with you if you are not comfortable with yourself. Build a sense of worth and also recognize the value you are capable of giving to other people.
2.) Adaptability
Social settings follow different norms, standards, and values. The environment prevailing in a bar is totally different than a college campus, office, or a park. Be aware of your surrounding environment and adapt. The way you present yourself speaks volumes about your personality.
Dressing for Social Success – Dress for the occasion. Going to a formal lounge, dressed in a wrinkle-T or shabby jeans can start you off on the wrong foot. The impression you make with what you wear says more than you know, and this is the easiest thing to fix.
Knowing the Lingo – Realize what is of acceptable norms within conversation. I shouldn’t have to tell you to avoiding talking about your kinky sex life at a board meeting. If that were the case…god bless you.
Fitting In – Don’t struggle to be the center of attraction. Find other guys you can share your social stature with. If you’re a part of the attractive pack, other women will instantly find you attractive. Just go with the flow and play your part.
3.) Approachability
Here’s something not many people think about. It’s funny how when you think somebody is avoiding you, they don’t doesn’t like you; and in reverse, you don’t like them either. Make yourself approachable. Your body language and facial expression will determine whether people will approach you or not.
Body Language – Your body language speaks huge volume about yourself. The manner in which you stand at social gatherings says a lot about your psyche. Always monitor your body language. Sit straight, shake hands when meeting someone for the first time and use the right tone to address them. Make sure your body language conveys your best self.
Facial Expressions – Did you know your face remains the gateway to how you feel? That’s how putting a undetectable poker face can mean all the difference between losing and winning the pot. Facial expressions convey your emotions and thoughts. Next time when you find yourself furrowing your brows, rolling your eyes or smirking at awkward moments, think again! Give random smiles. Crack a joke in the midst of a serious interaction, laugh when someone says something funny, and pass appreciative glances at the ladies. By doing this, you are saying without uttering a word to other people you are somebody who is social and easy to get along with.
4.) Articulation
The most important skill of all when comes to your social skills is the art of conversation, making and maintaining it.
Tone – A good conversation has nothing to do with your vocabulary or knowledge on broad-ranging topics. You don’t need to be a Renaissance man to have many things to say, and you actually don’t have to speak in lengthy sentences. A few words delivered in a solid tone is all you need.
Eye Contact and Response – Maintain eye contact and nod for any agreement to encourage the speaker to continue. Give appropriate emotional responses back as well to show you understand what is said. You can ask for clarification in case you didn’t get what was said. In any interaction, it is both of your jobs to maintain it and keep the conversation going.
Active Listening – Being a good conversationalist doesn’t mean you have to keep talking, but listen actively as well. When you’re talking to a woman, for example, ask her questions and state your opinions. Take the time to understand her perspective. If a topic fails to interest you, don’t stand stiff like a brick wall. It’s important that you give a speaker important feedback. Nod and respond back as you listen, or find possible triggers within the conversation to steer it towards something more interesting.
The ultimate goal of social skills training is to make you confident, competent, and comfortable in all situations.
With practice, you can gradually improve your social skills and keep the ball rolling in any form of human interaction.
The upcoming last part of this series “Social Skills Training Part 3,” we’ll look at the different things you can do for training your social skills.
BION I’m imedesspr! Cool post!