Are you not popular? Are you not happy with your social life?
I like to introduce to you a concept I call outsource your social circle as an important part of your social skills
Basically, this is like “social-webbing” as I like to describe it…partially inspired by Spider-man…one of my favorite superheroes of all time.
What is it?
You want to have a diverse social networks and circles from all walks of life so you are not relying on just one social circle throughout your life; it doesn’t broader and enrich your experience just sticking to one same old group.
Now of course you do want to have a group you’re really closed to, but what if they disappear the next day?
You will be back at square-one, and it’s going to be hard to make friends because you don’t have any in the first place; therefore, why would those new people you meet want to be your friend when you don’t have any in the first place?
Sort of conveys bad social proof, so its’ important to keep growing and nourishing those connections as you can.
You want to be able to grow and introduce people to new folks as well and help them grow…and have them meet new people for you, so then they will introduce you back to them.
You introduce friends to other people, and your friends meet that person’s social circle you’re not acquainted with, and then they come back to you and introduce you to that newly discovered circle…and that newly discover circle will introduce you to another unknown.
For example, you introduce your friend Josh to another friend of yours he doesn’t know, Tom. Your friend Josh will then meet another friend through Tom, who you didn’t know, Vanessa. Now your friend Josh knows Vanessa, but you don’t, but Josh can introduce you to Vanessa, and now you know her.
It’s basically web-swinging people who don’t know each other to people you know, and they meet other people you didn’t know and come back to you…then introduce you to those new folks.
All you had to do was introduced your 1-friend to another friend who they didn’t know, then they would meet folks they didn’t know and would introduce you back to them.
The idea is relatively simple. The process starts out slow but, like a snowball effect, exponentially gets bigger as the ball starts rolling…and you’ll be getting popular before you know it.
You’re letting your friend do the meeting and greeting for you…and for those really cool people they know, you can guarantee they will want to introduce you to them. And who wouldn’t want to show off their cool friends?
I have connected friends I both knew but they each didn’t, and that 1-person I introduced them to, met my friend’s other social circle even I didn’t know about…and reintroduced me back to that new group; that’s how I got to know them and became friends with those new people.
You’re letting that person do the job for you of constantly meeting new people through that 1-person you initially introduced them to, and they come back and reintroduce you back to some newly met people you didn’t know.
Now do you believe in karma?
More importantly, as you go through their network and deeper into the rabbit hole of new people’s network, you bring and invite your new network to your old network, or vice-versa, so your old can become their new. Basically, you are helping them network as well as you…by bringing all the pieces together again.
More you give, more you receive.
One of the best things you can do to build your social network is to develop positive friendships with people who have social influence, who will be inclined to introduce people to other friends. In fact this way it is possible to build a whole new social life from scratch.
You can do this by identifying a person’s core value, the thing they want more than anything else in life, at this particular time and meeting that need. Obviously being able to meet that need will depend upon what interests or skills you are able to offer.
However, there are so much variety of different needs and values out there, if you know what it is you can offer that people will value (one of mine is musical skills, but it could be anything from gardening to fitness training), it’s just a question of finding those people that want that ‘area of service,’ getting to know those people and delivering.
This is the perfect way for a person that is not social natural to gain access to a dynamic social circle.
Of course there’s a right way and wrong ways to go about this, but do it effectively with the right ingredients in place, and you can effectively outsource the development and building of your social circle to someone who has an existing wide social network who will give you some amazing introductions and allow your social life to grow on autopilot.
Meeting friends of friends of friends and ever expanding that circle works great, til you hit your 30’s. Would be great to see some articles aimed at people who are in their mid-30’s and have run across a very widespread issue. Everyone our age is married with kids, or divorced with massive baggage from it. It is even harder for us to make new friends at this age, when everyone moves away or grows apart or has a family. Address this one, it really needs it.