In my book the Art of Social Natural, I talked about how a social natural is “an efficient social calibrator,” meaning he has lots of social experiences under his belt and with those experiences, make him an extremely efficient socializer, almost like he has a sixth-sense for social dynamic interaction to perceive other people’s emotions without them ever revealing it and be able to predict and know and have the right thing to say at the right time.
That is how you get to natural game.
Complete natural game is when you are competently unconscious of what you are doing, but to get there you have to have some sorts of structural blueprint to know how to get there and do, to be an unconscious natural.
For most people coming from an inexperienced place of not knowing what to do in social situation like approaching and talking to girls, routines are guidelines to social calibration. They provide you a practical idea of the frame to work with, without it, you will just be all over the place (social miscalibration).
Almost all the top pickup artists who are natural now, had some form of structures to help them finally get there in the first place (like Mystery, etc.)
Social calibration is not something you can be good at overnight. It takes a lot of practice, even if you get good at a certain aspect of it, doesn’t mean you will be good at another.
What I mean by this is you might start picking up women effortlessly at a bar but for a night club, you will have to fine-tune and tweak your social calibration a bit.
I know lots of guys who are exceptionally good with picking up women in a bar, but they wouldn’t dare go into a night club because the whole game changes and their pickup skills in that environment are not perfectly calibrated yet, even if the skill sets seem the same.
Think of it like putting a piece of puzzles together, even if the side shapes look the same, the sizes and edge can’t be bigger or smaller for them to perfectly fit.
Just the same as some people will only do “day game” because they are better calibrated in their skill sets of picking up women during the day but avoid picking up women at night because their social calibration levels are completely different.
Now take somebody, for example, who has been working with a large corporation for a very long time will have almost perfect social calibration skills and developed almost like a sixth-sense because they know the culture, environment, atmosphere, people, etc; but take them to a night club, and then see how they do with people.
Mastering social calibration is like adapting.
Test and experiment and see the world as your giant social laboratory.
Thanks for writing this great blogposting. You brought up some interesting points about mastering our social skills.
I have poor intution so I guess I don’t social calibration is poor.
What you’re seen to be suggesting is to go through a trial-and-error to realize what you’re doing right and doing wrong. That is a lot of work to scale down our interaction to a level that is perfect. Nobody will ever be able to achieve perfect social calibration everytime.
I don’t suggest using routines even when your practicing. It all comes down to this, Your inner story, and bein in alot of social situations, the rest will come naturally. Thats what the nature of this site should come down to its the only thibg that works. Routines are so 2007. Please
And another thing, if you have the right vibe, YOU DONT HAVE TO TELL stories. Or memorize anything. That will only create anxiety. That, is a fact
Is there anything wrong? I don’t see the blog.
Had a problem earlier with the server, but everything should be working fine now. Thanks for the notice.
– Gabriel