When you are communicating with cool people, it is a whole new different channel than what you deal with your family or an everyday normal person.
You see an everyday normal person just basically tells you what goes on in their life and day, plan and dry yet simple.
Now a cool person would add a certain special flavor to their communication. Cool people are experts in their own particular trend of coolness.
You have to be in sync with their particular vibe and know their culture.
If you were cool with surfers, you would interact on a whole new different channel-level of what is considered cool, than with a rockstar or rapper when something totally different is considered cool in their particular trend.
Cool people are basically just folks who have been interacting socially longer in that particular trend and are experts on what is cool in it and know how to convey that coolness.
I like to consider these as different “specialized social skills” for those areas.
Back in my school days, as much as I tried fitting in with the cool people back, I didn’t because they were interacting with each other with advanced social skills I didn’t have in their own area, and I didn’t understand their culture of coolness.
But I was considered cool with the geeks and nerds. 🙂
When you are trying to be cool, become knowledgeable and immerse yourself in that culture and trend. Notice how they interact, communicate, dress, and express themselves and know the jargons.
Of course, you don’t have to follow any particular trend to be cool, and be your own cool self; but if you are trying to attract that particular lifestyle and the types of women you want associated with that lifestyle, you’re going have to work on the attractive identity that draws them.
Certain types of women are attractive to different kinds of identity for a guy.
For example, I have easier times attracting the hipsters, artsy types girls than the really urban girls because I convey that through my style and self-expression.
Even if I just put on a baggy pants, a baseball-cap backward, a thick gold-chain, and try to act all urban, I will still not be as successful when trying to attract the latter than the first types because I’m not fully immerse in that particular culture and brushed up on the coolness of that trend, and would be incongruent.
I could if I take the time, but I don’t really go for those types of girls.
So the overall moral of this is, get educated in the particular trend and culture of the lifestyle you want to live and the girls you want to easily attract in it by understanding their trend and culture and what is considered cool in them…
To create your very own “lifestyle game“.
Cool is just being relaxed and calm. Sometimes I wonder why they call this folks cool, when socially skilled would be a description.
I’m loving your site. Keep up the great job!
I’m a little confused here by what you mean by having more than one coolness. Hopefully, you get more indepth in the future.
I’ve been looking for information of how to be cool. It’s really hard to describe how to be cool, and not many people now how to explain it besides of an internal factor, but I think you did a great job of breaking it down and explaining it externally.
Being cool comes from confidence so focus on being more confident such as this http://howtofixstuff.blogspot.com/2012/03/how-to-be-confident.html
True. Confidence is indeed a huge thing, but it is extremely overrated as being sold as the biggest solution to just about every problem out there; it’s blunt and insufficient…especially in specialized areas where the person has to learn the “how-to.” Confidence doesn’t address the “how-to” as once you get the how-to, the confidence naturally follows. Otherwise if you just tell the person to “just be confident” but they don’t know the how-to perform, they will keep making the same mistake and keep destroying their self-confidence, which at that point…confidence is irrelevant. Have to combine confidence with competence.
Not a good thing , but worth reading.
Well thought out. Love how you broke this down. This concept of cool is not easy broken down to grasp, but mostly it’s instinctual espeically for those who always been cool
Here’s my take enthusiasm and humor is what makes guys cool. Simple as that.
COOOOOOOL article!
Wow, these are some nice tips. So many teens try to be cool and don’t know how to.
Everybody has their meaning of cool. Usually it’s just to fit in with the popular group.
Brings me to high school, where cool was a different group of cool and everybody has there own definition of it.
toooooo cooooool alright
You’re either born with it nor not?
I hear that all the time. This gives people the oppuntiy to be cool
Trying to hard to be cool is not cool. Cool is effrotless attitude and going with the flow. No need to have different social skills set. just my 2 cent
A word thought out Gab. You broken something abstract down is quite interesting as being cool