When should you ask a girl out after you meet her?
This is a big question I get from guys a lot…almost like the mother of all questions…but don’t worry, I shall address it in full-depth details, right here, right now, for you.
(Gosh, for some bizarre reason, I’m just reminded now of the 2nd Matrix movie, The Matrix Reloaded, where I actually feel like I’m The Architect and you’re Neo wanting answers to all your question. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you should check the movie out. That’s like one of those movies you have to watch 7 times to understand, especially if you watched the 2nd one The Matrix Reloaded first before the other 2s, as I did.)
Alright, let’s get serious…
People have been debating about “When to ask a girl out?” since the dawn of the cavemen…ok maybe not that long…but still, people are constantly debating about this.
What is the magical answer?
Can I hear a drum-roll please?
Dum, dum, dum, dummmm…
…ask a girl out whenever you want.
“What Gabriel? Is that all you have to say to me?”
Instead of waiting for certain amount of days or even a whole week, the earlier and quickest amount of time you get her to meet up with you is better. Hence, don’t wait to ask a girl out!
There is something I like to introduce to you I call the “emotional-connection leftovers.” These are the feelings of rapport she still has of you leftover from last night passed over to the next day.
If the impression was great and favorably-high, the better, and the more eager she would to see you; and you better do her that favor, or else she will lose that interest and momentum.
There is no one certain rule you should follow when asking a girl out! All rules were meant to be broke.
“Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.”
- Dalai Lama XIV
A lot of typical dating advices recommend you should wait a certain amount of days before you contact a girl again right after you meet her, typically 3 days. I’ll tell you right now, you shouldn’t follow this rule as a standard.
Social calibration is more important than rules. Always social calibrate and do what you feel is right. If you meet the girl, and a strong momentum is there, don’t let that momentum die by waiting, or else she will find some other guys and have forgotten all about you. (This has happened to me many times.)
I know, I know, traditional dating advices out there (I say they’re “traditional dating advices” because they are outdated now.) say you don’t want to contact her so soon because you don’t want to appear needy, and you should seem like you have a life and don’t really care about her. Well, those dating advices were given back when texting wasn’t so prominent, widely used, but calling a girl was the default way of contacting her.
Here are your words of the day I want you to remember, when contacting a girl to ask her out:
SEEN = “Simple”, “Easy”, “Effortless”, and “Nonintrusive”
Calling a girl on the phone is intrusive, and it requires effort on the girl’s part to even speak with you. While a with text-message, she can simply just read and respond whenever she wants at her own leisure.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t call a girl, but in the beginning you want to keep it simple, easy, effortless, and nonintrusive for the girl. You’ll thank yourself for it. Otherwise, if it requires a lot of effort, she’s not going to put that much into it because she still doesn’t really know you that well, unlike her friend, it would be ok.
Think of this way, remember those folks that just keep calling you randomly and just keep you on the phone for hour?
Somebody calling you randomly that you’re going have to talk to that requires effort and focus, and if you answer that call, you’re going have to take time out of your day from doing something.
I describe this as a “trap-call”.
Maybe that annoying-aunt always interrogating you for hours, intruding on your life, once you’ve answered her phone call, and you don’t want to put in the effort required to answer all her questions and talk with her. We’re lazy by nature.
I like to contact the girl via texting the very next day, and invite her to do something along with me. It doesn’t come off as needy because I’m not waiting on the phone, desperately wanting to hang out with her. Instead, I already have something else going on to do, but just simply inviting her to come along as a special treat.
You’re still busy by doing something else, but just along the way, you’re inviting her; it’s not like you’re sacrificing your other plan just to meet up with her. Now if she does refuse, I might even meet up with her later when I get done with doing that.
It’s Simple. It’s Easy. It’s Effortless. It’s Nonintrusive. (SEEN)
Don’t let the momentum die by waiting to contact the girl, just to follow some rules. Besides, another downside is, she will think you’re not into her; and when you don’t contact her for that long, those curious feelings will disappear, and you will be once again a stranger and have to start all over.
I recommend keeping that momentum up because that high-level of emotional-connection leftovers from last night will still be there, and will build upon the follow day.
While if you wait for a certain amount of time to pass, those leftover-feelings will dissipate, and you will have to start all over again from base one and rebuild them…or worse, she will find some other guy.
The fastest way to getting with her, the more profound and impactful it will be, unlike waiting gradually one-step at a time.
As an illustrative example to describe this, think of it like blowing up air inside a balloon. The balloon represents the girl. The air inside the balloon represents the emotional-connection leftovers. A fully blown-balloon is when you’ve scored with the girl.
You blow some airs in a balloon, but you don’t blow it up completely. You wait for a couple days. It’s still an inflated balloon; however, some of that airs escape, so you blow some airs again when you get the chance, but now when you blow the balloon, not only do you have to confiscate for those lost airs, but the balloon has to have more air than before if you want to take it to a higher-level.
The longer you wait, the more air leaves that you have to make up eventually.
If the balloon doesn’t have more air than before, you’ll either be right back where you were last time or lesser, instead of going anyway.
The longer you wait, the more air will escape from than before (and the more unnecessary work you’ll have to do again), but the sooner you blow the balloon completely, lesser air will escape, and those new air will make it bigger faster to a fully blown-balloon (and the less work you’ll have to do).
In this case, taking the emotional-connection further as soon as possible to scoring with the girl.
Instead of letting the emotional-connection leftovers to rot, build upon those existing emotional-connection leftovers to take them to the next level until you finally score with the girl.
Instantly build upon that momentum from last night, or else you will loss it, and have to start all over again.
I talk more about this in my Instant Girlfriend guide, where the quicker you hang out with a girl, the faster you can make her your girlfriend.
The quickest solution to a problem is always the best, before it grows
You always want to get the girl as quickly as possible, before it becomes a paddling in water in that same exact location just to stay a flow to get air instead of swimming to shore. You’re barely surviving hanging up there.
Keep the momentum up, and ask the girl out as soon as possible. Remember the fastest way to get to the solution is always the best, that also includes getting the girls.
And if you don’t’ have a text plan, contact your phone-provider right now to add one…unlimited is the way to go.
(To download the PDF version saved to your computer for easy reference, go here.)
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