Are you a value-craver, or no?
Are you always asking people for favor, and never reciprocate value back?
Are you always the one asking people where they’re going out or wait for them to call you, or are you the one always inviting people out?
Do you only call people when you need something, or you call just to holler and check up and see how things are for them?
I hope you’re the latter one for each of them…but are the people you’re surrounded by who you think are your friends, value-cravers?
I have talked about the idea of people’s sub-behaviors, the very subtleties of other people’s behavior that revealed their true underlying behavior, below the radar.
How do somebody really feel about you that they won’t admit in your presence?
Now you can use this concept of sub-behaviors to determine if somebody really is your trustworthy friend or a leeching value-craver.
The 2 key traits of these value-cravers are unreliability and nonreciprocity.
Usually these people will be unreliable, and never reciprocate.
There is a huge difference between being nice and being your friend.
When you meet somebody, they usually are nice, but that does not mean they are your friends already. They have to put effort on their part and be willing to reciprocate some from of value given to you.
Unreliability – They say they would do something but never really live up to their own words. These people have the potential to be liars/backstabber. If they have backstabbed one of their friends, be wary because they will probably do the same thing to you too.
Nonreciprocity – They never offer anything in return for what you have done for them, even though they keep requesting them. Yes, you do want to be a person of value, but when somebody keep wanting something from you, they’re just using you; offer value at a level slightly higher than what the person is reciprocating to maintain a healthy level.
“Unreliability” and “nonreciprocity” are detectable signs of you being used as a tool; hence, those people don’t really want anything to do with you but for your value.
They never call you and invite you out when you’re the one always inviting down. They contact you only when they want something, like your help, and they never return the favor when you ask for it, or disappear on you when you need them.
Offer the bait, your value, and see if they’re reciprocate. If they don’t in any way or form, they’re value-cravers.
I liked you address this into 2 simple categories of people who use you as a tool. There are many factors, but I think these are the 2 crucial.
These are some great pointers, but definitely not the end-all be-all to determine people. Shouldn’t judge people as we don’t know what’s always going on in their world
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