I’m sure you have heard about the recent tragic shooting in Santa Barbara, CA.
This is such a sad story.
At first it was just another shooting, but as the story developed, it became a very relatable one for those of us who ever been through social rejections and isolation and loneliness.
http://news.yahoo.com/suspect-california-rampage-blamed-aloof-women-081618824.html
The suspect, Elliot Rodger, was a good kid, who didn’t get into trouble, yet was socially rejected by his peers, but most of all, girls.
This is definitely the problem with youth these days.
I can actually see myself being in his shoes of what he must have felt in my younger days. I was bullied and tease a lot growing up because of my nerdy-tendency and wasn’t into the things other kids were that resulted in my social isolation in school. The truth was, I never gotten along with kids my age; I was always far more mature, and instead of being interested in sports or listening to pop music, I was fascinated by stuffs like how the mind works and classical music.
Kids at that young age are restricted in a social hierarchy of other kids craving for social acceptance that they tried to fit in with the rest of the crowd, always socially-conscious of their status. By being part of the pack, you are socially connected and the amenities are having relationships among your peers, and it goes without saying a healthy active sexual life as well.
This kid was considered socially awkward, and, therefore, was socially unsuccessful and never been with a girl, resulting in being sexual frustrated being a virgin at the age of 22.
Besides, the issue of sexual frustrations and social isolation and rejections created Ellie’s loneliness, was a sense of entitlement. Here his dad, Peter Rodger, was this director connected with Hollywood on the big blockbuster “The Hunger Games,” which created a strong need for unrealistic expectations of the girls he deserved.
This is why we need to educate ourselves on being socially savvy.
Instead of taking drastic measure like this, why not get better at social interacting with others?
This is something I have always stressed…that need of effective social skills to be taught, especially in school when kids are not that in control of their emotions and crave social acceptance more than any period of their life.
Always keep improving upon your life.
Now the thing that makes me wonder, what if this has been the other way around if this were a girl instead. Girls have a far more need to socially-connected, as through an evolutionary standpoint.
But hopefully with the tragic of this incident, it has shed more light on this issue of bullying, social rejections and isolation, and we can all come to together to handle these issues.
There is no doubt that in the counseling and life coaching communities, the needs of guys like Rodgers have been largely ignored, or at least not really understood or taken seriously.
However for me, as someone with Asperger’s myself, I would probably not have responded very well to being taught social skills in my school years, as I simply wasn’t ready for it at the time. What I so desperately needed ten years ago was a combination of befriending and coaching – someone with good social skills and a dynamic social life to befriend me, invite me into their own social circle, and meet up with me one to one to talk about the various social dynamics.
It would have to be done when I was ready for it, and when I needed it. I’m not against more social skills teaching in schools, but what needs to be recognised is that asperger’s types may well fall behind if someone tries to teach them before they are ready to learn. You learn anything much more easily if you learn when you’re ready, and when you have a real incentive to learn and master something.