Let me unravel the curtain and pull the cloak right-down under you…
Are you covering up your own problems under a “cloak of feel-goodness“?
If you are, then you’re not being honest with yourself.
Here is the problem with a lot of the dating advices and solutions out there…
They all relate the problems back to being a mindset issue, and do nothing more than just make you feel good about your problems, without really addressing the core issue.
They don’t really know how to explain it or show you how to solve your individual problem, and will just tell you it is a mindset thing that having the right mindset will be a grand-finale fix-all, be-all.
Do you think you can just change your mindset automatically when somebody tells you it’s just a mindset thing?
“Yeah sure, when I snap my finger, you’re now the most attractive guy in the room (SNAP)…now you’re attractive, go get the girl!”
Do you think you are going to get the girl?
No, you won’t fully grasp that mindset unless you know what you are doing correctly.
Telling somebody the other way around to just have the right mindset, and you will be good, like some magical incantation is far-fetched and impractical.
You don’t become good with women or socially by just temporarily feeling good or changing your mindset. That is like requesting a magic-pill for immediate quick-fix. Trust me, getting good socially takes practice out there in the field. You have to do it.
Those that say you can become socially good just by thinking and feeling you are “good”, that is not true.
You will feel only better about your screw-up. Of course, you can look at it NOT as a screw-up but as a learning-experience, but regardless, the unadmitted true is, you still screwed up.
Without knowing what you did and how to do it right and learning from that mistake by continuously deluding yourself every time with this “cloak of feel-goodness” that covers up the truth, you will never get good.
I am being brutally honest. I am telling you this like it is because I really want you to get better, not just to make you feel good about having your problems.
If you want to feel good you are wasting your time and better off going to a psychologist.
Note I have nothing against optimism; having the right, positive mindset is a good, initial starting-ground to take action and help with the motivation to persist and get good.
However, when it comes at the expense of not knowing the hardcore truth of how to get better and learning from your mistake, that is when you have to put your ego aside and admit that truth.
The first stage is admitting yourself the problem, and that is the reason why so many of us embark on this path of self-improvement in the first place, and then you will put in motion the effort to find that solution.
You can be the most confident guy with admirable traits out there, but the only way people and girls will know and see that about you is by what you do. It is by the doing, not just the self-delusional I feel like “this confident person” and can now act it out.
You have to be shown the correct way of doing it. There has to be steps to change your mindset to be permanent, by conditioning yourselves to do the things attractive, confident guys do.
Taking action and performing it the right way, conditions your beliefs.
Accepting new beliefs take reinforcement from your own continuous, consistent action; otherwise, you will eventually fall back into your old-behavior.
Great site. Good information. Like it. Will be back to read more soon.