A Powerful, Simple Way to Keep Conversations Going with Women

QUESTION:

“Hey Gabe, thnx for doing this… i really dont know how to keep a conversation going when i meet girls in a bar.. what do i say after i introduced myself and asked her how her night is going.. thnx”

MY RESPONSE:

Not knowing how to keep a conversation going after you introduced yourself is very common among guys, especially after you asked her all the usual intro-questions, like “What’s your name?”, “How are you?”, “Where are you from?”, etc.

Now do you have the same problem when you are talking to your friends and family?

Look you’re not the only one.  She probably also doesn’t have anything to say, and thinks she is a bad conversationalist as well.

There are a few things you can do.

The most common thing to do is to keep asking questions and just be interested in what she says.  The thing is, that is pretty much what all the other guys do, besides you don’t want this to feel like an interview for her.

You can tell stories.  Storytelling will be the thing that will fuel most of the conversations, but if you don’t have any stories or relevant stories, you should stock up on some memorized stories to be able to tell whenever you want.  In my book the Art of Social Natural, I do get into a lot of storytelling techniques in how you can use just one memorized story to come up with unique and different stories while still being relevant to the situation to tell every time on the spot.

Now I have this powerful technique I called “obviousation – Saying the Obvious to Neutralize the Awkwardness (S.O.N.A.).”

This technique works like magic.

This brings down a lot of barrier, just like when you are talking to your friends and family you don’t have these barriers.  You act relax and just say what’s on your mind.

Imagine you and a girl are just talking and all of a sudden the conversation becomes quiet and there is this moment of awkward silence.

You’re thinking you have nothing to say and that you are a bad conversationalist; however she is thinking the same thing too.

When this happens, SONA (Say-the-Obvious-to-Neutralize-this-Awkwardness), just say in a cool joking way something like,

“Huh, I guess we’re not great conversationalists are we?  We’re both quiet right now?  We have nothing to say to each other?  You know…I hate when this happens?  When 2 people are talking they both become quiet, and usually they think they are the one who is the bad conversationalist…but they don’t realize is that the other person is thinking the same thing, too.”

This can even get a laugh from her, the laugh of recognition.

And you guys can then go into a conversation about “conversations”.

Watch as how she opens up from here, you will come from feeling like being this stranger to being somebody who she knows in her life.

Also you are being the man here who is easing the same tension and awkwardness she feels from not having anything to say, or she will eventually do it for you…by “I gotta find my friend”.

Ever notice why comedians are good at what they do and are funny?  They are ballsy enough to state the obvious that nobody else is willing to admit, but hey they are comedians and do it in a joking way, that’s how they can get away with it.

From here, you can also go into a cold-reading.

After you have the conversation about “conversations”, and if there is another awkward silence, SONA again.

“So what can we talk about now?  I think this time, you’re the bad conversationalist.” 🙂

Play and have fun with the awkward silences.

After when this happens, magically you guys will feel like insider, and will feel more at ease and relaxed and have a better connection.

The way to describe this feeling is notice the difference in your behavior when you first meet a girl and there is this sort of barrier between you 2 that you both can’t completely relax around other each and will try your best to present your best self.

And after when you have sex, that feeling changes and you 2 feel a lot more at ease because you guys have gone through a lot, had your embarrassing moments, shown your flaws and you 2 are both ok with it without judging each other.

Not a lot of guys are confident enough to do this.  What do must guys do?  They try to find stuffs to talk about by continuously asking question; however, by willing to admit this, it shows balls and honesty, and will bypass a lot of superficial barriers and get to the real her, and you will be seen as different in her eyes.

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