Now here’s the second-part to the concluding Predicting Identity: Extroversion and Introversion.

While our “extroversion” and “introversion” are partially rooted in our heredity, environmental factors also play a significant role, if not bigger.

In Introversion-Extroversion, J.P. Guilford said that having few siblings makes a child more reflective, and reflectiveness is a major attribute of introverts (Guilford 335).  He also said that even though a child might be born a certain way, their upbringing can certainly shaped him or her differently: “By tracing developmental sequences, it can be seen, for example, that a moderately withdrawn, unresponsive infant with a very stimulating, responsive mother will develop phenotypically less withdrawn behavior than a similarly introverted infant under less stimulating maternal conditions.” (Guilford 339)

Being born through heredity just contributes to it, but that doesn’t finalize who the actual individual is.

Social Conditioning is BIGGER Factor

In Effect of Creative Drama on Self-Concepts, Social Skills, and Problem Behaviors, introverts are naturally reserved, and need to be encouraged to express themselves more in group discussions, and more aggressive students learn to restraint the tendency to speak out or act out of turn (Freeman et al. 133).

Through external shaping like these, students can changed where they started.  It’s not where it begins…but where it ends.

For example from my life, I started out as a very shy reserved introvert.  I wanted to have more fun and enjoy a more fulfilling life, so I started going out as much as possible.  My initial introverted identity changed.  Being in that social environment changed and reshaped me to being more outgoing in a world that I was initially intimidated by; I became an extrovert (compared to my past and recent Myer-Briggs Test).

The problem is, in the western culture, it tends to be more favorable to be extrovert than it is to be introvert and that there is probably something wrong with you if you’re an introvert.

Now there is a really great book you should check out by Marti Olsen Laney The Introvert Advantage – How to Thrive in an Extrovert World.

When people think of introvert, there is an automatic assumption that their identity is a shy, quiet, socially awkward loner.  Therefore, most people will try to shape themselves into extroverts; however, there are positive traits associated with being an introvert, such as intelligence and independence…and there are negative traits to extrovert, such as being less emotionally stable and hedonistic.

It’s really the factor of positive emotional reward from being one or the other.

Human beings are mostly motivated by pleasure and pain as Tony Robbins best put it.  If you get more pleasure from being either extrovert or introvert, or steering clear of pain from being extrovert and introvert…you will go that route and become that.

There are benefits to being both…but being which one is more beneficial for you?

If you’re an accountant, for example, it’s better to condition your identity to be an introvert than an extrovert…or if you’re naturally an extrovert, you wouldn’t be happy being an accountant away from social stimulation, so your ideal identity is better being a social worker getting huge amount of social stimulation.

Anybody can change their identity based on their individual preference.

You’re not determined by how you’re born being based solely on heredity, but by your ideal preference and you can condition and change your identity to either extrovert or introvert.

Why Should You Care If You’re Extrovert or Introvert?

Knowing if you’re an extrovert or introvert, can help you a lot when comes to social dynamics interaction.

For example, being an introvert you naturally recharge by being alone, so when you’re out socializing or interacting with people, you get drained more and faster than an extrovert.

Knowing this helps you calibrate your energy.

Think of it like having a tank of fuel that you fill up by having alone time.  If you use it up too quickly you will get exhausted almost in no time.

Everybody needs alone time…even the extroverts.  No matter how extroverted you are, there are stuffs that you do in life where you just need to be alone to concentrate on solely.

Being an extrovert, since you recharge by being around other people and you’re drained when you’re being alone, that tells you how much energy you will have on sole task you need to do before you’re completely wiped out.

You will also know which areas of your life you can easily succeed in and where you will have difficult time, personally and professionally speaking.

Being either an extrovert and introvert both have their strengths and weaknesses.

If you’re an extrovert, for example, your strength will be in dealing with people, so you might not be happy working behind a cubicle punching numbers all day; that will drain your energy.

If you’re an introvert, working with other people will drain your energy dramatically before the day is even over, and you will never get through your day and imagine doing that 24/5/365; therefore, working with other people is not your strongest area.

By knowing which one you are, can make you better control and calibrate the amount of energy you use and the ideal people and social environment for you to achieve your highest optimal performance and predict where you will be successful in life.

The 3rd Kind “Ambivert”

Now which one is better to be?

As said before, being either one has its advantages and disadvantages.  It’s best to be close to the middle as possible, and not border too extreme on either.

Some people like to consider this as “ambivert,” where you are considered to be both.

For myself, I am now just barely over on the extroverted-side of the scale just a little bit, very close to the middle, but I can be introvert when I want.

So which one is better to be?

Once again doesn’t really matter as long as you’re near the middle of the scale.

People who are in the middle are the most balanced people in the world, not illogically-emotionally unstable nor unoriginally-rigid.  Being close to the middle is the best of both worlds, utilizing the right amount of both creativity and logic.

Even though heredity is indeed a factor, external environment conditioning is shown to play a much bigger factor in shaping your identity as either an extrovert or introvert.

Somebody can be born introverted, but with the right amount of support and encouragement, their identity can become more extroverted.

Same is true for the extroverts.   If somebody who is born extrovert, but locked up living under a rock…their natural extroversion will be suppressed, and their identity will gradually become introverted.

No matter how you were born or where you started or how your situation is…you can always change for the better or who you want to be.

Now doesn’t it feel great to know that we are in control of our destiny?

“First, genes do not determine behavior; they are not biological juggernauts. The word influence is much more appropriate, considering the many biological and social events that intervene between the structure of genetic DNA and complex human behaviors.  Thus, discovering that genes influence behavior does not mean that changes in this behavior are impossible to achieve. I will suggest in this essay that genetic information may provide some of the clearest evidence of how to apply effective psychosocial intervention to reduce genetic risk or enhance genetic potential.” (Reiss 544)

(To download the PDF version saved to your computer for easy reference, go here.)

(DOWNLOAD – Predicting Identity: Extroversion and Introversion 2)

Sources:

Guilford, J.P. Introversion-Extroversion. Psychological Bulletin, Vol 31(5), May 1934.

Gregory D. Freeman, Kathleen Sullivan, and C. Ray Fulton. Effects of Creative Drama on Self-Concept, Social Skills, and Problem. Taylor & Francis, Ltd., The Journal of Educational Research, Vol. 96, No. 3 (Jan. – Feb., 2003).

Reiss, David. Genetic Influence on Family Systems: Implications for Development. National Council on Family Relations, Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 57, No. 3 (Aug., 1995).

Predicting Identity: Extroversion and Introversion – Part 2 is a post from: Social Natural

To start the brand new 2012 year off, I thought I talk about the social development of our “extroversion” and “introversion”…

Have you ever wondered WHY some people are naturally prone to being social than others and have a much more extroverted tendency?

I went to great length and did a huge research on this, as this area has always fascinated me.

Note I get really scientific here contrary to my other past articles…

If you enjoy abstract theories and stuffs, you will find this fascinating; and if you don’t…well, you should still read it as a brain-munchy as you will get a lot of informative insights that will help you better understand yourself and the people involved in your everyday social dynamics interactions.

This is a two-part article.  Today is the first-part, and I’ll post the second-part in a few days.

Now human-beings are the most complex machines in the world.  There is nothing more mysterious and riveting than the human species; even we don’t comprehend our own selves.  To help simplify this complexity, there are classifications in psychology.

One of them is in analytical psychology innovated and advocated by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung in the forms of extroversion and introversion.

What are extroversion and introversion?

They are ways to classify how people interact with others and the world around them, either from being an extrovert or an introvert.

But what are the differences between extrovert and introvert really?

It’s nothing more than a matter of preference.  Being introvert doesn’t make you naturally shy, and being extrovert doesn’t naturally make you a gifted motor-mouth.

In Jungian theory, extroversion and introversion is your preferred relationship with your psychic energy to how you recharge your energy.

If you get recharged and stimulated from external relation with other people and alone time exhaust you, you’re an extrovert…while on the opposite spectrum, if you recharge your energy from reflection and alone time and being around other people exhaust you, you’re an introvert.

Now the real BIGGEST question is…is your preferred relationship with your psychic energy based on heredity or upbringing, and how does it shape our identity?

In other words…how do people arrive at certain identity trait of extrovert and introvert that affects our natural tendencies and behaviors?  Are we born extrovert/introvert or become it through social conditioning by our immediate environment?

The answer is…BOTH!  We arrived at our extroverted and introverted identities hereditably and conditionally.

The Heredity Factor

There have been extensive studies on our characterization of extrovert and introvert of heredity as a cause.

According to J.P. Guilford of University of Nebraska in Introversion-Extroversion, there was a study done that showed males are born with higher heredity traits than females, while females are born more equally (Guilford 355).

Basically, males are more likely born the way they are, while females molded by the environment.  This might explain why guys tend to be more rigid and objective…while women tend to be more flexible and emotionally fluctuating because women are not as solidly defined by their innate born identity as guys are.

According to Kagan-Moss and Schaefer-Bayley, there were consistency in social behavior for infants until teen years, which may be attributed to heredity.  When a boy shows signs of social anxiety or friendliness during his first year of life, it was predicted he would show the same signs in his teens (Scarr 829).

There also has been a research done with grade school students to see which types, extrovert or introvert, perform better academically, and it was shown that extroverts do better than introverts…which was puzzling because when we think of successful academic scholars, we tend to think of them being reserved introverts focused on intellectual pursuit.

Now once again, these were only grade school kids, not yet affected and shaped by their environment.  These kids have not learned effective study skills, so what they showed in their performance, were naturally innate intelligence.

This might show that extroverts are naturally more intelligent, but introverts, due to the introverts reserved tendencies, will develop effective study skills over time that will surpass the extroverts in intelligence at a later point in life…and the extroverts will constantly get distracted form their academics, most predominantly shown in high school when the common beliefs of introverts being intellectual as the geeks start to show.

This showing of natural innate intelligence being more in extroverts, without the need of learning effective study skills, supports that some are born more extroverted than introverted…as heredity measured by innate intelligence.

Also here is a quote from Genetic Influence on Family Systems: Implications for Development by David Reiss that supports heredity as a factor based on social competence for extrovert: “The data from the NEAD study suggest that self-perceived social competence is heritable (McGuire et al., in press).” (Reiss 551)

So perhaps extroverts are naturally more intelligent than introverts, which certainly appears to be the case when they’re salesman…but introverts are more focused on intellectual pursuit making them appear to be more intelligent than extroverts, which now appears to be the case when they win Nobel prizes.

Yet according to J.P Guillard’s Introversion-Extroversion, who’s more intelligent is irrelevant; introvert are generally more intelligent and extrovert more socially adaptable (Guillard 342).

Being born either an extrovert or introvert shapes your identity more as a kid initially.

If you were naturally more extroverted as a kid…that made you got higher grades in grade school, like these school kids in the research who were extroverts and did better than the introverts because grade school’s academic excellence is based all on fun and game and musical sing-along, areas where the extroverts excel at…nothing really intellectual stimulating.

Extrovert and Introvert Stimuli Threshold

Being born naturally more extroverted makes us more outgoing; that’s how the extroverts exceeded more than introverts in grade school, while being more introverted makes our behaviors to prefer alone time and enjoy solitary activities.

We are more easily stimulated if we’re more introverted than extroverted.

Extroverts need more stimuli, which would explain why they would go out of their way to cause trouble and mischief to get them in high school, when the tables are turned from the extroverts being more successful academically from grade school to the other way around…while introverts are perfectly content and don’t feel the need for attention; however, extroverts have a higher threshold to reach before they get stimulated, while introverts have a lower one.

Since introverts get easily stimulated than extroverts, the extrovert are constantly active more so than introverts, trying to get the stimulus that is easily achieved by the introverts due to introverts having a lower threshold.

Being extroverted makes you restless.  Noise it seems, distracts introverts while for extroverts stimulates them.

If you prefer to study in quiet, you’re more of an introvert; while if you prefer studying with music, you’re more of an extrovert.

Regardless though, we eventually shape who we want to be…

That’s the end of the first-part of this article, I’ll post the second-part soon.

(To download the PDF version saved to your computer for easy reference, go here.)

(DOWNLOAD – Predicting Identity: Extroversion and Introversion 1)

Sources:

Guilford, J.P. Introversion-Extroversion. Psychological Bulletin, Vol 31(5), May 1934.

Scarr, Sandra. Social Introversion-Extraversion as a Heritable Response. Blackwell, Child Development, Vol. 40, No. 3 (Sep., 1969).

Reiss, David. Genetic Influence on Family Systems: Implications for Development. National Council on Family Relations, Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 57, No. 3 (Aug., 1995).

Predicting Identity: Extroversion and Introversion – Part 1 is a post from: Social Natural

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

Just when you’re done with holiday mode…New Year’s is fastly approaching around the corner.

Once again…this is the time of the year, where you should reflect on what has happened, what has changed in your life, and how you plan on moving forward in your social and dating life in 2012. Make these things your New Year’s Resolution.

For me, a lot of changes have occurred in these past 6 months. I’ve met lots of interesting people and made new friends, who have contributed greatly to my life.

As you may have noticed, I haven’t been active as much on the site and in the newsletter (which if you haven’t signed, you should do that right now on the right-hand-side) as I have been busy developing a lot new techniques and strategies and experimenting with a lot of new materials

And just to let you in on a secret…

I have also been working on a brand new program, hopefully will be out early next year.

“So Gabriel, what is this lovely new program you’re working on?”

I won’t get into much details, but I can tell you that this is much different than anything out there and you have ever seen on dating, meeting and attracting women, and social life development…in fact, I will say this is the one-and-only course of its kind.

“Well, quit being secretive!”

Hehe, that’s fun of it; you’ll just have to wait until next year.

Go out have a blast anticipating the brand new year!

Last Minute Reflection Upon the Year is a post from: Social Natural

Ahhh, yes…Christmas time is here!

Can’t remember the last time Christmas was on a Sunday…that means Christmas Eve on a Saturday…

Conflicting for “those who wanted to go out” and “those who wanted to stay in but feel left-out on a Saturday evening;” however, Christmas Eve is always an excellent justifiable excuse. 

If you went out last night, shame on you!

I…in fact, went out last night…so shame on me!

…ok, maybe not.  I just needed to get out of the house.

I didn’t expect much but just a chilled-crowd, and I must say, I was quite surprise.  There were folks partying like it’s July 4th and New Year’s Eve.

Wonder what’s up with that?

Time sure has changed from our grandparents’ days…or maybe they’re thinking this is the last Christmas Eve before the end of the world in 2012.  I was watching 2012 with my little cousin, and he got scared of that actually happening.  Poor fellow.

So today…I’m just resting and recovering, and what could be better than it being Christmas!

My folks are in town, so I’m going to spend the evening with them, probably take them out to a fancy restaurant or something.

But I really hope you have a wonderful Christmas…and get ready for one-and-only New Year’s Eve!

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays! is a post from: Social Natural

How can you improve your social skills NOW to become the most social person you can be…when you are not socially skilled in the first place to socialize effectively to build your social skills?

Now that’s quite a dilemma, huh?

Here we have a Catch-22 example of “can’t find a job because you don’t have experience, and you don’t have experience because you can’t find a job.”

People will tell you the only best way to improve your social skills is to get out there and socialize and talk with as many people as much as possible.

Yes that is true.  There is nothing like learning by doing.

But that is like throwing you on an deserted island all by yourself and tell you to just survive and “Good luck, you can do it buddy-ole-pal!”, without the necessary equipments.

You need the right tools first to help you learn how to socialize effectively whenever you are out in social gatherings, and they will also help you in terms of learning social calibration.

I call this your sociability, your toolbox basically of your social mojos, like your techniques, stories, humor, lines, questions, routines, openers, and conversational materials that can be pulled out at anytime to be used.

Comedians always have their toolboxes stocked with jokes and routines before going on stage.

The tools you would want to have the most are great stories, as telling stories are pretty much the biggest things that fuel your social interaction.  Have plenty of them in your arsenal.

Build up your sociability and when armed with these tools, you can practice them to develop your social skills, and you can stop relying on them as your social skills improve.

Eventually you start understanding the pattern of a good social dynamics interaction.  Your social intuition will sharpen by knowing how one particular response will trigger another, and you will know how to control any social interaction.

If you want to improve your dating and social skills fast, go out a lot…even go out by yourself, if you can, so you won’t have that safety-security of the other person to come back to, and learn and recognize the patterns and social structures that control the response for the ideal outcome, even by making mistakes if you have to…and then calibrate for next time.

If you want to expedite this process, cutting all the long-years it has taken me to figure all this out for you…you need to check out my Art of Social Natural, where I go through all of this…plus many more.

Once you have done that, everything will be subconscious and automatic and here you have NOT just Natural Game…but GREAT Natural Social Game.

When you have the social skills, meeting and having people from all walks of life adding value to your life and enriching it…meeting women is natural, almost effortless; you will be meeting them through their social circle and their friends’ social circle.

Become the Most Social Person You Can Be! is a post from: Social Natural

When should you ask a girl out after you meet her?

This is a big question I get from guys a lot…almost like the mother of all questions…but don’t worry, I shall address it in full-depth details, right here, right now, for you.

(Gosh, for some bizarre reason, I’m just reminded now of the 2nd Matrix movie, The Matrix Reloaded, where I actually feel like I’m The Architect and you’re Neo wanting answers to all your question.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you should check the movie out.  That’s like one of those movies you have to watch 7 times to understand, especially if you watched the 2nd one The Matrix Reloaded first before the other 2s, as I did.)

Alright, let’s get serious…

People have been debating about “When to ask a girl out?” since the dawn of the cavemen…ok maybe not that long…but still, people are constantly debating about this.

What is the magical answer?

Can I hear a drum-roll please?

Dum, dum, dum, dummmm…

…ask a girl out whenever you want.

“What Gabriel?  Is that all you have to say to me?”

Instead of waiting for certain amount of days or even a whole week, the earlier and quickest amount of time you get her to meet up with you is better.  Hence, don’t wait to ask a girl out!

There is something I like to introduce to you I call the “emotional-connection leftovers.”  These are the feelings of rapport she still has of you leftover from last night passed over to the next day.

If the impression was great and favorably-high, the better, and the more eager she would to see you; and you better do her that favor, or else she will lose that interest and momentum.

There is no one certain rule you should follow when asking a girl out!  All rules were meant to be broke.

“Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.”
- Dalai Lama XIV

A lot of typical dating advices recommend you should wait a certain amount of days before you contact a girl again right after you meet her, typically 3 days.  I’ll tell you right now, you shouldn’t follow this rule as a standard.

Social calibration is more important than rules.  Always social calibrate and do what you feel is right.  If you meet the girl, and a strong momentum is there, don’t let that momentum die by waiting, or else she will find some other guys and have forgotten all about you.  (This has happened to me many times.)

I know, I know, traditional dating advices out there (I say they’re “traditional dating advices” because they are outdated now.) say you don’t want to contact her so soon because you don’t want to appear needy, and you should seem like you have a life and don’t really care about her.  Well, those dating advices were given back when texting wasn’t so prominent, widely used, but calling a girl was the default way of contacting her.

Here are your words of the day I want you to remember, when contacting a girl to ask her out:

SEEN = “Simple”, “Easy”, “Effortless”, and “Nonintrusive”

Calling a girl on the phone is intrusive, and it requires effort on the girl’s part to even speak with you.  While a with text-message, she can simply just read and respond whenever she wants at her own leisure.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t call a girl, but in the beginning you want to keep it simple, easy, effortless, and nonintrusive for the girl.  You’ll thank yourself for it.  Otherwise, if it requires a lot of effort, she’s not going to put that much into it because she still doesn’t really know you that well, unlike her friend, it would be ok.

Think of this way, remember those folks that just keep calling you randomly and just keep you on the phone for hour?

Somebody calling you randomly that you’re going have to talk to that requires effort and focus, and if you answer that call, you’re going have to take time out of your day from doing something.

I describe this as a “trap-call”.

Maybe that annoying-aunt always interrogating you for hours, intruding on your life, once you’ve answered her phone call, and you don’t want to put in the effort required to answer all her questions and talk with her.  We’re lazy by nature.

I like to contact the girl via texting the very next day, and invite her to do something along with me.  It doesn’t come off as needy because I’m not waiting on the phone, desperately wanting to hang out with her.  Instead, I already have something else going on to do, but just simply inviting her to come along as a special treat.

You’re still busy by doing something else, but just along the way, you’re inviting her; it’s not like you’re sacrificing your other plan just to meet up with her.  Now if she does refuse, I might even meet up with her later when I get done with doing that.

It’s Simple.  It’s Easy.  It’s Effortless.  It’s Nonintrusive.  (SEEN)

Don’t let the momentum die by waiting to contact the girl, just to follow some rules.  Besides, another downside is, she will think you’re not into her; and when you don’t contact her for that long, those curious feelings will disappear, and you will be once again a stranger and have to start all over.

I recommend keeping that momentum up because that high-level of emotional-connection leftovers from last night will still be there, and will build upon the follow day.

While if you wait for a certain amount of time to pass, those leftover-feelings will dissipate, and you will have to start all over again from base one and rebuild them…or worse, she will find some other guy.

The fastest way to getting with her, the more profound and impactful it will be, unlike waiting gradually one-step at a time.

As an illustrative example to describe this, think of it like blowing up air inside a balloon.  The balloon represents the girl.  The air inside the balloon represents the emotional-connection leftovers.  A fully blown-balloon is when you’ve scored with the girl.

You blow some airs in a balloon, but you don’t blow it up completely.  You wait for a couple days.  It’s still an inflated balloon; however, some of that airs escape, so you blow some airs again when you get the chance, but now when you blow the balloon, not only do you have to confiscate for those lost airs, but the balloon has to have more air than before if you want to take it to a higher-level.

The longer you wait, the more air leaves that you have to make up eventually.

If the balloon doesn’t have more air than before, you’ll either be right back where you were last time or lesser, instead of going anyway.

The longer you wait, the more air will escape from than before (and the more unnecessary work you’ll have to do again), but the sooner you blow the balloon completely, lesser air will escape, and those new air will make it bigger faster to a fully blown-balloon (and the less work you’ll have to do).

In this case, taking the emotional-connection further as soon as possible to scoring with the girl.

Instead of letting the emotional-connection leftovers to rot, build upon those existing emotional-connection leftovers to take them to the next level until you finally score with the girl.

Instantly build upon that momentum from last night, or else you will loss it, and have to start all over again.

I talk more about this in my Instant Girlfriend guide, where the quicker you hang out with a girl, the faster you can make her your girlfriend.

The quickest solution to a problem is always the best, before it grows

You always want to get the girl as quickly as possible, before it becomes a paddling in water in that same exact location just to stay a flow to get air instead of swimming to shore.  You’re barely surviving hanging up there.

Keep the momentum up, and ask the girl out as soon as possible.  Remember the fastest way to get to the solution is always the best, that also includes getting the girls.

And if you don’t’ have a text plan, contact your phone-provider right now to add one…unlimited is the way to go.

(To download the PDF version saved to your computer for easy reference, go here.)

(DOWNLOAD – When to Ask a Girl Out?)

When to Ask a Girl Out? is a post from: Social Natural

Gobble!  Gobblely doo!

Gobble!  Gobble away!

That’s right…Happy Thanksgiving!  Hope you’re enjoying your splendid turkey feast!

As for me, I still prefer the prepackage-wrapped honey-roasted ones.

Ahh, never been much of a fan for homemade-cooking. 

Now Thanksgiving day is definitely an interesting event where some folks treat it as a 2-days consecutive holiday…

Tomorrow is the one and only Black Friday.  Besides how dreaded “Black Friday” may sound, like it’s the end of the world, it’s a very special day.  People stay in bitter-cold waiting for the doors to open as they scrabble to grab the latest hottest goods at rock-bottom outrageous bargains.  Regardless if they actually get anything, the feeling of actually being part of something is still enjoyable.

Of course I don’t want to leave you with no goody-savings of my own, so I’m throwing a super-duper special treat…and unlike these folks, you don’t have to wait in the cold or scrabble in a riot.

Until Cyber Monday, November 28, you can get my classic Art of Social Natural for HALF-OFF…that’s right, HALF-OFF!

And can it get any better than that?  Of course it can!  I’m sweetening the deal by also throwing in my Instant Girlfriend guide!

You get 2-times the double-whammy for HALF-OFF!

Simply just go to this link here:

SOCIAL NATURAL SPECIAL

But better hurry because this deal will end on Monday!

Talk soon!

A Very Special Thanksgiving! is a post from: Social Natural

Today, I want to take a break from talking about dating, meeting, and attracting women and give you some inspirations and motivations.

This is a very important lesson that will not only help you improve your success with women and enhance your social life…but will make you successful in all areas of your life.

Many times in your life when you want to do something and try to pursue a goal, there will be people who don’t share the same ideas you do and will try to stop you.  They  will laugh at your face and mock you to the floor of humiliation.  They will deter, discourage, and break you down if you let them.

Even worse when your friends and family are not on your side.  These folks you know think they’re doing it because they are looking out for your best interest, but they’re doing it because it makes them feel good.  They can’t see the light at the other end of the tunnel, and if you do achieve it, they would hate to be wrong

The naysayers don’t want to believe in your dreams because they lack the passion to achieve any of their own or already failed and gave up and want to keep you at their level.

And that brings me to an important point I’m trying to make…

If you want to be successful in anything you do, you have to “persistent relentless action“, where you’re in this berserk passionate state like you’re unconscious and so intensely focused on continuously action that it pushes through any obstacle that gets in your of achieving your goals.

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”
- Albert Einstein

Block out all the naysayers from you life, and if they’re your friends and family, avoid them as much as possible.  Don’t even register their negative remarks and keep persisting.  In fact, use their doubts to reignite that passion within yourself to prove them wrong.

For myself, I always get motivated when I’m told I can’t do something.  This is always the fire I need to break through my laziness period when I just lack motivation and need that little push.  They think it’s helping their cause, but it’s only helping me.

If you come up short, bounce right back and keep going.

Never give up, and always have that persistent relentless action.

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one.”
- Thomas Edison

The Most Important Thing to be Successful in Anything You Do is a post from: Social Natural

Happy Halloween to you!

If you’re still trying to figure out on a Halloween costume that will attract women like a moth to a flame, I got a Halloween special treat for you.

Check out this FREE video!

What to Wear to Attract Women on Halloween? is a post from: Social Natural

Now why do we need to learn how to be social?

Well, a long time ago back to our own ancestral days, we lived interdependently in colonies and tribes. We needed this tribe to survive, otherwise if you take one member out…he or she would die without being to survive solely in those times. It was just very basic primitive social behaviors.

We were like machines. The men would hunt and protect the tribe while the women would take care and nourish the younglings.

Pretty much, it was the same type of social behaviors everyday, nothing fancy and sophisticated social skills were required. They do the same things throughout the day, everyday, and feel and think about the same things…like robots.

It was just basically hanging around with your family 24/7/365…and to this day when you hang out with your family, does it take that much effort to interact with them?

No, you’re most relaxed and requires the least amount of social skills effort.

However, as society evolved…human behaviors started to get sophisticated; no longer were we acting on the simple, same old day-to-day behavior, but different human emotions emerged in us that caused us to act in more complex ways.

We started to converse more with outsiders…no longer just people within our tribe but those from many different tribes.

And fast-forward to today…

The world has become very global and diverse, requiring much more advanced social skills and will continue to require more sophisticated social skills to strive in today’s society.

We are NOT used to dealing with these many people and having varieties of relationships and different societies running into each other, so now we have to have ways of dealing with this and harness our social powers.

No longer those with the strongest, brute physical-force have the power, but those who have the most social savviness do.

We are living in a social society and to achieve what we want, we have to be socially aware and skilled to maneuver successfully ahead, unlike our ancestors who just used brute force to take what they wanted.

Social intelligence is a must!

Now for meeting women…

We can’t bash them on the head with our clubs and drag women by their hair to our caves. The laws and modern society do not tolerate and punish these outdated barbaric behaviors in our more civilized world.

Today, for most guys in meeting women, we have to groom ourselves, makes ourselves look good, go out, approach them, talk to them, get them attractive to us, get their number (if we can’t seduce them), get them on the phone, make them meet up with us, talk with them again, get them attractive again, and then try to seduce them to make them our girlfriend.

That’s a lot of work don’t you think in courting women, unlike our ancestors who just cut to the chase?

The truth is…we are becoming more of a super society and more interconnected with each other, and this will continue to happen and even faster as the populations increase exponentially.

So we have to evolved into sharp social-being, and we can meet people that can add values to our life enriching it for the betterment.

If you want full on crash course to take your dating and social skills exponentially to the next level, instead of going through the school-of-hard-knocks like I did…I highly recommend you check out my Art of Social Natural NOW!

The Importance of Being Social is a post from: Social Natural