Social Natural Lifestyle

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I admit the reason why when I first started learning this whole seduction, dating, and pickup stuffs that I was having a difficult time than most people and hardly getting any progress was because I was missing the very foundation of social dynamics. None of them ever address on the basic, the core of it all…your natural social skills that set it off and build everything else.

I wasn’t just bad with girls but my poor social skills made me terrible at making friends and connections.

You see a lot of us didn’t grow up with great social skills, and our lack of social skills transition over to making us terrible with women, so try learning pickup without this basic foundation is like learning how to run before walking.

It wasn’t until I started to get and understand this bigger picture was then everything started to fall into place finally.

Dating, attraction, seduction, pickup skills all fall under your social skills. Pickup skills is just only a small portion of your social skills.

If you have exceptional mastered your social skills, picking up women will naturally be effortlessly easy.

I would even break it down even more and say that the way I see it, is that are different categorized sets of your collected social skills. For example, there are ones for when you are hanging with your guy friends, interacting with your clients/coworkers/colleague/boss, and picking up women.

There are guys who have really close guy friends who are always chilling and playing Madden and watching Sunday night football and go out every day and every night, and basically, always bonding like good-ole-pals when they hang out, but are terrible with women.

Then there are the corporate overachievers that seem to have every possession in their lives, people respect them at work, they’re always nailing every clients professionally (no pun intended) making that sale, and constantly getting promotions and bonuses, and overall, have their professional relationships going for them, but they are very lonely and unskilled when it comes to building their personal relationships outside of the profession.

And then there are guys who are exceptional at picking up women, but they fail to get the respect of their family, colleague, and co-workers, and don’t have any close friends because being the one-dimensional pickup artist is all they see that they are so stuck in that narrow pickup mindset to do whatever it takes to get the girl.

Being really good in one area conflict with each other because the social skill sets are completely different. You don’t ever want to be successful in one aspect of your social life but fail at another. Having a healthy balance in your life is extremely important.

That is why you don’t just want to be the one-dimensional pickup artist and alienate other aspects of your social life because that will never make you the most social person you’re cut out to be.

Focus on knowing which set of your social skills to use at the particular right time.

Popularity: 31%

There has been a lot of misconceptions about confidence and that it is the end-all-be-all ingredient to getting girls.

Now I am going to say something a little out there, confidence alone is just not enough.

There is a difference between acting confident (“faking it til you make it” as we like to call it) than truly being confident.

“Faking it til you make it” is great and will help give you the courage and self-beliefs to take action and persevere, but true confidence comes from when you’re really good at something, unconscious competent, without having to think about it.

When you are at that level of unconscious competent, confidence naturally falls into place because you have the skill set and know you will be able to do it well every time, unlike acting confident at what you are doing for a day doesn’t mean you will be confident the next day because you don’t have that competence to back it up every time.

Just like when you have been riding a bike all your life…

When you get on it, you are naturally confident because you know how to ride it; however that wasn’t the case when you started. You were scared because you didn’t know how to ride it and could had hurt yourself, even if you faked your confidence you would still not know how to ride a bike.

Or basically for anything else, like taking a standardized test, fixing a car, playing a new sport, do you think just having confidence is enough to make you do each one of them well?

NO.

Actually it is the other way around, knowing what-to-do and how-to-do and having the knowledge is going to build that competence and make you have that confidence.

When you are applying for a job, do you think they will just hire just because you are acting confident without ever having the proper training to efficiently perform?

Of course not because you could lose that job the next day after working with a lack of competence and have wasted their time and resources. They are more interested in specialized skill, knowledge, experience, expertise…your competence.

Same thing for when you are out in social gatherings and have no idea what to do when talking to girls or interacting with people; you can fake your confidence and be confident, but that doesn’t mean you will do well.

Confidence doesn’t make you better, competence does, and confidence results from that.

Here is my quote, I want you to remember:

“Competence comes from experience. Confidence comes from competence.”
- Gabriel Angelo

Popularity: 51%

In my book the Art of Social Natural, I talked about how a social natural is an efficient social calibrator, meaning he has lots of social experiences under his belt and with those experiences, make him an extremely efficient socializer, almost like he has a sixth-sense for social dynamic interaction to perceive other people’s emotions without them ever revealing it and be able to predict and know and have the right thing to say at the right time.

That is how you get to natural game.

Complete natural game is when you are unconscious of what you are doing, but to get there you have to have some sorts of structural blueprint to know how to get there and do, to be an unconscious natural.

For most people coming from an inexperienced place of not knowing what to do in social situation like approaching and talking to girls, routines are guidelines to social calibration.  They provide you a practical idea of the frame to work with, without it, you will just be all over the place (social miscalibration).

Almost all the top pickup artists who are natural now, had some form of structures to help them finally get there in the first place (like Mystery, etc.)

Social calibration is not something you can be good at overnight.  It takes a lot of practice, even if you get good at a certain aspect of it, doesn’t mean you will be good at another.

What I mean by this is you might start picking up women effortlessly at a bar but for a night club, you will have to fine-tune and tweak your social calibration a bit.

I know lots of guys who exceptionally good with picking up women in a bar, but they wouldn’t dare go into a night club because the whole game changes and their pickup skills in that environment are not perfectly calibrated yet, even if the skill sets seem the same.

Think of it like putting a piece of puzzles together, even if the side shapes look the same, the sizes and edge can’t be bigger or smaller for them to perfectly fit.

Just the same as some people will only do “day game” because they are better calibrated in their skill sets of picking up women during the day but avoid picking up women at night because their social calibration levels are completely different.

Now take somebody, for example, who has been working with a large corporation for a very long time will have almost perfect social calibration skills and developed almost like a sixth-sense because they know the culture, environment, atmosphere, people, etc;  but take them to a night club, and then see how they do with people.

Mastering social calibration is like adapting.

Test and experiment and see the world as your giant social laboratory.

Popularity: 84%

I’m just going to keep this short and say Happy July 4 everybody!

Honestly, it felt like it was only yesterday was last year July 4, and I said that I was going to make up for it this year…and you can bet your girl I will! I’m going with one of my girls to this spectacular rooftop bar to watch the fireworks, for those living in New York City, might know what I’m talking about.

There is going to be a lot of single women out tonight looking for a good time, and you can be that guy to show her a good time.

Stay safe and have fun!

Popularity: 73%

I get a lot of questions from people asking about…

“Why do I have to go through all of this?” “Why do I have to learn all of this?”

“Why not just be yourself?”

Ah, yeah, we have all heard that one before.

“Just be yourself and you will get the girl!”

Now the problem I have with the advice of “just be yourself” is this…

If you tell somebody who is dyslexic trying to learn how to read to just be himself and believe, although this is great inspirational fuel, it doesn’t change the fact that he is dyslexic, and he would then forever be struggling trying to learn how to read; however, give him the tools and teach him how to use it, and that will help him more than anything else.

Or if you tell a newly hired inexperienced technician to just be himself, do you thing he is automatically going to be good at his job?  No, he had to go to school and have gotten the proper training first and get experience under his belt.

Now for somebody who is struggling with women all their life, and you tell him to still be himself?  Then he will forever be terrible with woman, doing the same bad things over and over again that his old self has been doing that destroy his success, unless one day he luckily finds “The One” who falls into his lap like out of some magical destiny.  But the chance of that is very slight, besides would you rather be in control of your dating destiny?

The exception is if you are already good with women then you can be himself, but why then search for getting women advice and go through all this painful hassle; and you wouldn’t need anybody to tell you to just be yourself because you would already know that.

And then later this statement evolved into “being your best self”.

What does this mean?

How do you be your best self?

Do you just tell somebody to be “his best self” and magically he will be his best self and automatically be getting all the girls he ever dreamed of?

No, it doesn’t work like that.

To be your best self, still implies you are going have to work on changing yourself because your are not yet at your “best self”.

So in the end being yourself is not they way to go, if you are not already good at something.

Remember as the saying goes, “If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same result.”

Or Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity:

“Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Popularity: 85%