QUESTION:
“Thanks for emailing me back Gabriel. Well one of the social skills I am trying to learn is tone of voice. I have read some books that say to talk to women in a more calm and relaxed tone of voice so it doesn’t seem like you are being too desperate and needy in the conversation. Then, I have also read books saying to talk in a more energetic and fast paced tone so you seem like a more energetic and fun person. Can you email me back and let me know if this is something you can address or what you have noticed get the best results and explain that to me. Thanks man”
MY RESPONSE:
Ok this is where social calibration comes in my friend.
Think about what you are trying to accomplish when you are talking to the other person.
Would you speak in a calm and relaxed voice in a loud night club to get a group of girls’ attention with all the other stimuli going around?
Do psychologists ever talk in an energetic and fast paced tone to build trust with their patients to get them to open up (pardon the pun :))?
Talk energetically if you are trying to get attention and people to focus on you.
Talk slowly and rhythmically if you want to build a deeper connection/persuade.
If you were in a night club meeting a girl, start out being energetic and animated to get her attention, and then transition to the calm and slow voice when you are trying to build that rapport.
Loud and energetic gets the attention on you and make you memorable, but to take that deeper into a connection, go slow and paced.
fast and energetic = attention-grabbing and keeping focus on you (superficial)
slow and calm = profound and stronger impact/persuasive (deep)
If the interaction is already strongly focused on you, talk slowly and rhythmically; however if there are potentials for distractions, be energetic and animated to keep the attention on you and to get it back when distractions do occur.
Some great examples are go on YouTube and watch some of Leonardo DiCaprio’s 1-on-1 interviews, notice how articulate he talks and calm and controlled his voice is.
He doesn’t feel the need to talk loud or energetic to grab any attention because it is already focused on him and there are no potential outside distractions.
If you don’t feel the need to talk energetically to keep the focus on you and get your point across, talk slowly. Talking fast-paced and energetic requires a lot more energy, it’s best to be resourceful with your energy.
I generally talk slow wherever I go whenever regardless of the enviroment.
Reputation, or whatever you want to call it). I have plenty to say about it too; I even give talks on the topic.
You are very ieinlltgent. You understand therefore considerably relating to this topic, produced me in my opinion believe it from so many numerous angles. Your stuffs great.
If some one desires to be updated with latest technologies therefore he must
be visit this web site and be up to date daily.