Don’t you just hate it when you know somebody who you think you have a real relationship with, but turns out they’re just using you?
What is having a real relationship?
Well, in every form of relationship, whether that is having a girlfriend, friends or even anybody, there has to be some exchange of value.
When one person is giving away more value than is being reciprocated, they will feel like they are being used; and those who are taking those values without offering any value in return, are value-cravers; they constantly want something from other people, and that is the only reason they want to be in your presence.
Yet the thing is, if you don’t have any value to offer people, they don’t really want anything to do with you.
The key is to make sure whoever you’re hanging out with isn’t using you, you want to be sure your value given to them is slightly higher than what they are giving you back.
If they aren’t offering any value back in the first place, just give them slightly higher than nothing, and don’t expect them to get more than that when they make a request.
Usually the biggest signs you can tell if these people are value-cravers, who constantly ask for things without giving anything in return, is that they tend to be unreliable and unreciprocal. When you actually need them, they disappear from you and only reappear when you have value to give and want some of that value.
We all heard the story of how somebody was using somebody else because they have more money and connections, and those are tangible values; however, the most universal ideal values are intangible, the positive exchange of emotional values.
Think about this, if you don’t have any money or any sort of wealth, but people really enjoy and love being in your presence because they get this positive energy from you and that you offer great stimuli to them making them feel great, they would want you around.
I talk more about this in-depth in my Art of Social Natural.
Hell no way I’m gonna let other people use me. I’ve been there, done that. I’m already tired and I always knew what it felt. The good thing is, it’s easy to tell if other people are just using you.
You know what it feels like then; it feels like being taken advantage of…one of the worst feelings, and there will be a lot of these value-cravers out there.
And these are ways to usually tell.
unreciprocal, not unreicproal. Not trying to troll here, it’s just that once you have the mentality of a tool things are supposed to be of a certain way if not, no one will see or talk to you. Judgement, I have been on the receiving end from the day I was born
Stefan,
Thank you for that. The case here is not to adopt the tool mentality, but to be aware of these subtle micro-behaviors of those around you knowing when to put your foot forward.
For example, somebody who is lying to you or not – you could have the mentality that they’re not lying to you when they actually are, but by detecting the under the radar red-flags you would know.